Tuesday, October 02, 2012

It's Time to Let Go

It all started with a simple hello on the 7th day of December 2011. Beginning that moment, we started our conversation, you asked my cellphone number and later exchanged text messages. We see each other during our masteral classes every Saturday. During those times, I have developed a special attraction on you for being so intelligent and very responsible career man. On the 24th day of December, I was doing my final requirements in one of our subjects when I received a text message coming from you saying, "Merry Christmas classmate." I was surprised by your greeting because never did I expect it from you. I just replied, "Merry Christmas too classmate." I thought it was already finished but then you asked me where is your Christmas gift from me. It was January 07, 2012 when I secretly gave you my wrapped Christmas gift (necktie) before I left the room to go home. Also that date, it just happened that it was your last day of attending classes because you will be working on your new job the following week. It was on the gloomy 14th of January 2012 when I asked you if you will not attend classes anymore. And you said yes because of the time constraint required by your job. We exchanged text messages until you asked me to go out the following day. And it happened; we went out for the first time. And the rest as they say is history. 

It is unexplainable why I feel like you're the missing piece of my heart. I'm not exaggerating things, just honestly saying what I really feel. I might be wrong or right, but that's the way I feel. I've been into relationships for many times, but only with you I felt this way though we're not couple. What I loved most about you is that you are spiritually committed. You once a choir member and I have found out that you studied in a private catholic school. I believe you're the person who has a deeper understanding about faith in God. Another thing is I'm so thankful that you've never took advantage of me.

September 08, 2012. It was Mama Mary's birthday when I attended mass after my school classes. After the mass, I checked my phone and there I found several messages and missed call coming from you. You're waiting at the nearby restaurant and you want us to talk. But it was already an hour and I was thinking maybe you're not there anymore. My bestfriend told me that I have to call you to know if you're still there and I did. 

We talked at the closed area of Mang Inasal with a playing music in the background and just the two of us around. What a sweet and kilig moment it was! We started our serious talk by putting cards on the table with questions, explanations, a sort of arguments and confrontations. And we ended up agreed on a mutual setup because you keep on telling me that it is the best way of knowing each other. All you want is a relationship that will only lasts for a lifetime. You won't take the risk of getting into romantic relationship until you've completely get to know if we are really meant for each other. All you want first is to build a foundation of friendship between us. Then only time can tell if when is the best moment for us to level up our friendship into romantic one. If not, then you would cherish the friendship that we have. I got the point though I know it was unfair. But still I agreed. Several weeks have been good to us. We talked just like we're best of friends. We shared information and exchanged jokes. But in the blink of an eye, you've suddenly changed without saying any reason behind it.

I'll be missing things we both love doing...

  ... attending Sunday mass
  ... planning a Visita Iglesia
  ... dining out and watching movies
  ... hanging out at the mall
  ... playing games at Timezone
  ... and visiting nature's park.

I care so much about you. Even through all the hurtful things you've said about me, I couldn't ever stay mad at you. But I came to a point wherein I could no longer bear the pain and I'm too tired in giving you my comprehension. I can't keep looking out for you and making you my world when all it ends in disappointment. You don't treat me the way I deserve to be treated. It's not fair anymore. It's time to focus on myself again. If someday we meet again and the spark is still there, I won't drag you out.

But for now, it's time to let go. It may be one of the hardest things I'll ever have to do, but I promise I'll be okay. The feeling will pass, I just have to be patient and be strong enough. I promise one day you'll be nothing but a lesson well learned. Still, I don't know what God has in store for us. We might walk on separate ways but I will always thankful for everything. I would always pray that God may lead us to where the best place for both of us. Wonderful memories will always remain and be treasured forever.