Dear Mr. A: An Old Flame

More than three years have passed since we parted ways and never been reconnected. Until one day, I received a missed call and found out it was you. Then, we were re-communicated once more.

It seems you're talking to me just like nothing happened in the past. You're still the same person that I once knew. You always pestering me with your sarcastic remarks. Enough for me to feel quite mad at you the way you are. But I guess there is no more question about it. It's you.. the real you.

Now, you want me back. Is it that easy? Maybe, for you. The first time I heard it from you, I don't know what my reaction is. Am I happy? I remain still. But the feeling I think isn't there anymore. You said you will gonna prove that you have unfeigned love. Do I have to believe? For all the pain you caused me, do you still worthy of my full trust? Do I have to give you a second chance?

I'm sorry. That's all I can say at this very moment. After weighing things out, I've realized some things never last. The feelings I have for you before exists no more. I try to feel within my heart if you're still resides in there but my heart says you're out of her life now. I am really sorry but I don't love you anymore.  

I have overcome the struggle and burden you have caused me. The past hurt and mistake made me a stronger person. It taught me how to accept my loss and brave enough to go through life without you. Thank you for the chance, I was given an ample time in expressing what my heart and mind wanted to say. You need to move on now. You have to let go. Let's just be fair. Let's just be friends! That's the only thing I could offer you right now. It will never change. And will never be.

5-Year Milestone Anniversary

Today is July 05, 2011. I'm celebrating my five (5) year service anniversary here in the company. I utter words of praise and thanksgiving for the privileges and opportunities God put into my hands. I'd realized how my life has been changed since the first time I entered this workplace.

It wasn't my first job. I could say that I have skills and knowledge to do the job. It doesn't mean that there is no things to be improved on my craft. I'm open to new ways of  improving myself and developing self-confidence. Learning is an endless thing as long as you're eager to do so. It would enhance our skills and abilities to be in a right track of our profession. And of course, for our own personal growth and development. Sometimes we learn through the smooth way. Sometimes, at the opposite side. But whatever it may be, we should open our eyes to the good lessons it may bring to our life. Failures and mistakes are ingredients to success. We can't fully appreciate the crown and taste the sweetness of success if we haven't experienced trials and have been bruised and wounded by the battles of life. We should always remember that God is always there guiding us and loving us for what we truly are in spite of our imperfection.

I love doing my job. It's my bread and butter. It gives me sense of gratification and satisfaction. And in today's unstable economy wherein a lot of people having a hard time in getting a job, I am really blessed. Even though the routine of my job often is monotonous. Thank you, Lord for the opportunity to work and through this grace I would become a better person you want me to be.

Just an Update

It's been awhile since the last time I have posted something here on my blog. It's been so pretty busy here in the workplace. A lot of paperwork occupied my job tray. I have to prioritize things so I may be able to finish the tasks and all. Blogging is one way of unloading my thoughts, emotions and anything that slipped in my mind once in a while. And because I can't entertain and face my computer for the whole day only to have my blogging session, I bought a  notepad as my personal diary to put my thoughts and musings into words when I'm in the mood.

Nothing so much new happened for the past two months I've been silent. I'm just busy with doing paperwork such as payroll and submission of reports for the last fiscal year. I never had my beach or pool swimming last summer. It was my choice. I have received some invitations to go swimming with friends and colleagues but I said no. I'm just not in the mood of going outdoors because of the terrible heat during summer season. The kind of heat of the season is not that normal. It is caused by global warming. So sad of what's happening to our Mother Earth.


Good News. My brother graduated last April 29. It was also my mother's birthday. I sent birthday greetings to my mother who stays in the province. My father and I attended the graduation. After the program, we eat at Kenny Rogers - SM North Edsa to celebrate. Congratulations, Bobet! You did it! Last June 06, it was Monday. My sister Arlene gave birth to a healthy baby boy via normal delivery. My first nephew. The first grandchild of the family. We were so thankful and praise God for the gift of life. Ardie is his first name. The bundle of joy of the family. 

After the Storm

Many years ago, I was disgusted and feeling distress when my sister disclosed to me that she was raped with someone else when she was just a child. I don't know what is the exact age of her when it was happened. The guilty person who did the crime was my grandparents' helper in their farm. We don't have any idea where he is now because I don't have a bit of information of his whereabouts even before. I was the only one who knew what had happened to my sister. I can see from her eyes the pain and sadness that she had. The sad thing part of it was it took so many years before she courageously confided it with me. But still, I'm very thankful and relieved because she trusted me. At least, I now fully understand her talks and actions when we were still young and growing up. 

I know how it's been so hard for her to cope with the situation. Depression is the worst feeling in this world that overshadowed her that's why she once tried to commit suicide by taking sleeping pills. I have witnessed how she'd done it and I burst into tears because I felt the excruciating pain, hopelessness, self-pitiness and downfall she'd feeling. Unintentionally, I found a handwritten letter she kept in her personal thing. It was a letter narrating what she'd been through. A letter where she put all her emotions about failures, anguish, fears and envy about something in her life.


I still vividly remember when I'd advised her many years ago to tell everything about it to a man she chooses to be with forever before they will decide to get married. And I know she keep it that words in her heart and mind. I was pleased and grateful when after many years of coping with the situation she'd finally found the man who accepted her for who and what she is. Now, my sister is happily married. The wedding took place at the province last year. And at this moment we are thankfully and gladly waiting for the very first grandchild in our family. Yes, she's pregnant now.  She'll be giving birth on her first bundle of joy this coming June. God is really good. And I thank God for all the love and graces He poured.

Happy Birthday Sir & Joi

Today is the birthday of my immediate boss and co-officemate here in our department. Certainly, it would be a busy day for us here. Our boss will be having a birthday celebration this lunchtime at the conference room. Our boss ordered many foods to be served for employees who will attend the celebration. We will be preparing all the things needed for the birthday celebration. 

To my boss: A very Happy Birthday to a great mentor and a wonderful person. Wishing you success and happiness always!

To Joi: Sending birthday blessings, filled with love and peace and joy. Wishing sweetest things happen, right before your eyes today that is your birthday! Happy Birthday!!!

A Reflection of Faith

During my childhood days, I once felt I was lost. I was searching for a place that I could say I am loved for what I am. I am so blessed when I stayed with Lola Cion, my grandfather's first cousin, because of her I was taught how to keep my faith with God to be stronger each day. I saw how would she fervently kneel and pray everyday. She opted to be single that's why she's living alone in her house. My mother agreed with her that I would sleep with her at night. I enjoyed my nights staying with her. I've learned how to pray the rosary earnestly. I am so pleased to witness how she really cared for her entire family by praying all of them individually and asking God to protect and guide them. I was so amazed how she loved and cared for them all. 

Life is full of struggles and circumstances. Sometimes, I can hardly feel the presence of love of God. I can't understand why God allowed some bad things happened in my childhood life. Why He didn't protect me when I was molested as a child? Until now, the only profound answer I have in mind is: I don't know. I really don't. But God knows. And that's enough. I believe everything happens for a reason. As Bo Sanchez says, "God won't protect you from all pain. But He will allow the pain that can turn into a great blessing." The Bible says, All things work for good to those who love God.

Despite all hardships and pain I have endured, I'm still strong. And that's because of God's grace and protection. Inspirational and motivational books have a great impact in my life. I picked up all the words of wisdom I found on it and keep it as my armor in struggling life's journey. God's Word and faith in Him are the two powerful tools of mine in surmounting the mountain of life I've been through. But it isn't easy. There are times I see myself being knocked down. But God is good. God put His arms around me and lifted me up.

Daily Cup of Wisdom

~April 11~

"Investing in the family's future is deciding to chase kites on spring days, to chase balls on playgrounds, and to chase laughter rising from a baby's lips like bubbles on the wind rather than to chase dust bunnies beneath beds."

~April 12~

"Laughter, like a gentle spring shower, replenishes the dusty earth."

~April 13~

"To venture beyond routine, invites the possibility of joy that is found best in daring to change."

~April 14~

"Until you take a close look, all daffodils look the same."

~April 15~

"The difference between the truth and tale is the difference between the photographs in the seed catalogue and what comes up in the garden."

~April 16~

"The seasons of planting, watering, and harvesting begin with a foot on the shovel."

~April 17~

"Absorb beauty into your mind and heart as deeply as breathing in spring breezes. Like air, beauty is alive in you now and will come again in memory."