Thursday, April 22, 2010

Lamesa Grill

It was a bright sunny day when Charisse and Jasmin asked me to be with them in SM North Edsa to look for a swimwear to be used this hot summer escapade. At first, I was a bit irresolute of going out thinking no one will be staying late at the office. But knowing Riza will stay, we finally headed to SM North Edsa. It was a blissful day for us because we had an unplanned chillax. We managed to have a get-together once again after such time we're still in not-so-much available mood.

We strolled around and looked for something we need. After a while, we headed to Trinoma Mall to look for a better and more affordable swimwear. We saw the couple falling in line at nearby fastfood chain. Roni told us they were hungry then we decided to look for a dining place. It was in Lamesa Grill where we dined in and savored the delectable food. After a full plate, we browsed some cocktail drinks available on their menu. Blue Margarita was then our choice. We filled up our glasses and emptied it while chitchatting.

I really enjoyed the day out once again and felt relaxed.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Online Love Affair

Never in my wildest imagination I have thought of entering a love affair through internet. It was a year ago when my cousin introduced me into dating website. At first I took for granted her idea of signing up in one of the websites she'd given me. Then I had realized that there's nothing to worry about in trying it out. So I signed up and accepted the terms and conditions of the website. A week later I've got a lot of messages from different places here and abroad. There are Filipinos but most of them are foreigners. They've invited me to be one of their friends and have accepted some of them whom I think they deserve it.

I got curious in one particular foreign guy because he messaged me in mixed language, our language (Tagalog) and English. Out of curiosity I replied his message and then he replied me back and later on we've chatted almost everyday. I found him very nice and endearing. I've been honest and truly trusted him in every  thing he says. Months have passed and we've been comfortable with each other. We talked almost everything, shared stories, exchanged comments and ideas in almost all aspects of life. After five months of chatting online I knew from my heart that he's very special to me. Then one day he told me that he loves me already; my heart shouted for joy after hearing it. Eventually, we became lovers online. He then proposed marriage but I told him that we should meet in person first to get to know more and have a heart-to-heart talk before we decide for such commitment in which he agreed. I waited for months for his arrival here in Manila, Philippines to do business work and at the same time to meet me.

Being a good researcher I might say, I tried to search a bit more of his profile and have found out something fishy that bothers me. I told him what I did and asked him some questions but he got mad at me. I apologized but he just left me with a single word "bye". I sent him messages but he never responded. He even deleted his profile in the dating website where we met. I cried a bucket and my heart was shattered when distress and chagrin dawned on  me. Almost a couple of months I still hoped for the appeasement but  it never  betided. I still have unanswered questions in mind. But then I came to the conclusion that he betrayed me and have been dishonest with me. I don't disavow that I was hurt and disappointed for what had happened.

Now, I have moved on and have accepted that it happened for a reason. I'll just leave it up to God and let Him handle the journey of my heart.

Saturday, April 03, 2010

Good Friday 2010

It was a fine Good Friday when my brother and I talked over the cellular phone. We talked about his plan of going back to school this coming June. I also asked him about some updates on the lives of our relatives and was told they're all good. After our short talk, I felt bad deep inside realizing that my own life isn't good enough despite of such hard work and sacrifices I've made. I felt worthless, pitied myself and burst into tears when suddenly shadow of my childhood years flashed back into my mind. It was a past situation filled with helplessness, insecurities and greatest fear to reveal the darkest side of my life which I have had carried for so long and until now still haunting me once in a while. I sobbed for a moment until things calm down and I felt better.

After a while, I turned on the television and joined the solemn observance of Holy Friday by watching the live telecast of "7 Last Words" on ABS-CBN and meditating the words of God. These are the final phrases of Jesus on the Cross:
  1. Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. (Luke 23:34)
  2. Today you will be with me in paradise. (Luke 23:43)
  3. Woman, behold thy son; behold thy mother. (John 19:26-27)
  4. My God, my God, why have You forsaken me? (Mark 15:34)
  5. I thirst! (John 19:28)
  6. It is finished. (John 19:30)
  7. Father, into Your hands I commend my spirit. (Luke 23:46)
I was teary-eyed while watching the program.The invited preachers, sharers and music performers shared life stories and talents to make the observance of Lent a meaningful one. Their words of wisdom and inspiring stories touched my heart and enlivened my body and soul.

Father, into Your Hands is my destiny. Your words will be my light of hope in the darkness of my life and refreshing water in the thirstiness of my spirit. In every stair of my life there will be a cross of trials, but I do not fear to take hope for You, God, is with me forever.