A Little Piece of Me

I came from a broken family and I don't deny it. Being one and also identified as an illegitimate child ain't easy to accept. I've been hurt and cried a bucket of tears in knowing the truth. But realizing that there's no good thing I could gain on being rebellious and dwelling on the past, I accepted my fate and decided to go on with my life. I let God direct me to the right pathway of life. I studied well, learned many things not only from the four sides of classroom but also from all the people who taught me how to persevere and strive on what I wanted to be. There are so many times I want to give up but still with the grace of God I moved on. I worked hard and prayed hard asking for guidance and strength to go on.

I vividly remember the days when I want and eager enough to enroll in a bachelor's degree a year after I finished my vocational course. I enrolled and became a working student just to be able to pursue my education. I learned to be frugal so that I could sustain my other needs, manage time and prioritize things to meet deadlines. I learned how not to take people I love for granted. I learned to sacrifice my love for someone special and face the terrible moment when I lose and let him go. I learned to get along well with other people while living far from my family. Eventually, I saw the light at the end of the dark tunnel when I received my bachelor's diploma.

Looking back, I feel so much blessed and grateful to God for where I am right now. I have a stable job with one of the prestigious institution of my country. I enjoy life's journey with my family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances. Still unavoidable set of circumstances may come my way, but I know I do carried suitcase of courage and faith in God to win in the battles of life.

Just an Update

It's been awhile since the last time I have posted something here on my blog. It's been so pretty busy here in the workplace. A lot of paperwork occupied my job tray. I have to prioritize things so I may be able to finish the tasks and all. Blogging is one way of unloading my thoughts, emotions and anything that slipped in my mind once in a while. And because I can't entertain and face my computer for the whole day only to have my blogging session, I bought a  notepad as my personal diary to put my thoughts and musings into words when I'm in the mood.

Nothing so much new happened for the past two months I've been silent. I'm just busy with doing paperwork such as payroll and submission of reports for the last fiscal year. I never had my beach or pool swimming last summer. It was my choice. I have received some invitations to go swimming with friends and colleagues but I said no. I'm just not in the mood of going outdoors because of the terrible heat during summer season. The kind of heat of the season is not that normal. It is caused by global warming. So sad of what's happening to our Mother Earth.


Good News. My brother graduated last April 29. It was also my mother's birthday. I sent birthday greetings to my mother who stays in the province. My father and I attended the graduation. After the program, we eat at Kenny Rogers - SM North Edsa to celebrate. Congratulations, Bobet! You did it! Last June 06, it was Monday. My sister Arlene gave birth to a healthy baby boy via normal delivery. My first nephew. The first grandchild of the family. We were so thankful and praise God for the gift of life. Ardie is his first name. The bundle of joy of the family. 

At the Crossroad of Life

Lost. Confused. Unsure. Worried. These are the things that occupies my mind today. I see myself standing at the crossroad of life. Life is full of uncertainties. Our laid plans go astray. We don't know what exactly God has in store for us. The only certain thing we do have is to believe and be still in God's love for us.

I'm still trying to find my calling, on what's really my purpose in life. I feel like I'm stuck in the middle of the crossroad. Uncertain of what life path I choose to embark on. That in the end I could say I don't have any regret. Decision making is one of the hardest thing to do. It needs proper timing and consideration of what matters most. I know there are times that we need to make a big decision. A decision that sometimes we need to sacrifice and give up something just to get what's close to our heart's desire. But I know there is always a risk on everything.

Just like this paper boat, I am now floating on the wide open ocean water. Will I wait for the wind to blow down on me? Or steer myself in the direction I want to go even if it's against the wind? I don't know the answer yet.

I let God take over

I called at the agency and was informed that the employer has no response yet. Negativity strikes me again. A candle of hope slowly fades. I feel a bit tired of hoping and waiting for an answer. What if I lose the battle? An inner voice says I can't accept it. I want it badly. I don't know how to react. And then finally, I accept my fate. Wait. That's the only word that comes in mind. 

I let myself rest and listen to the voice that speaks inside. No need to hurry. Time comes at the perfect moment. I should wait. That's my only hope. And then, I turn to God for guidance and light. I kneel saying starting today, I let God take over me. Surely, God will lead me where I should be.

Looking on the Bright Side!

I woke up this morning feeling refreshed and  restored. I look forward on the days ahead  and view life through rose-colored glasses. Being optimistic and looking on the bright side of life make me inspired each day. I couldn't fathom the peacefulness and serenity I felt. I said to myself I am now ready to unfold another chapter of my life. It is true that life is uncertain and sometimes our laid plans go astray. But there is also certain  thing that we should hold on to. Jeremiah 29:11 tells me, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Faith and prayer are always the best weapon we could have in order for us to walk into right direction wherein God will lead us.

Last night, before I went to bed I said a prayer and gently close my eyes and sleep. When I woke up, a renewal of physical strength and spiritually at peace enveloped my whole being. I told myself that I will embrace what God wants to happen in my life. Then I prepared and went off to work enthusiastically.  When I googled some information about something I need to know, I'm glad I found a lot. I don't know but there is uncertain feeling I can't explain. It feels like God is guiding and showing me the way so that I would understand what's ahead of me. I have a feeling that great thing will be coming on my way soon and He wants me to be ready on it. And thinking of such blessing, I could not find enough words to utter. But of course, I will always be thankful for everything.