A Fulfilled Promise

Source: Google Images

Last September 24, 2011 at Saturday morning, I have fulfilled my promise to God that I will visit and attend mass at the Shrine of Divine Mercy in Marilao, Bulacan. That day, I woke up early in the morning when I feel like there is a silent voice succumbing me to go to the said church. Several months ago, I promised to God that I will visit His sacred place in the province of Bulacan. And I'm so glad that I did it.

It's the first time I was in the place and truly I felt the presence of God. I prayed fervently in the Shrine of Divine Mercy. I spent a lot of time roaming around the entire place. I bought a Divine Mercy Chaplet in the their souvenir shop. I visited the Guadalupe Chapel at the Church basement where a big picture of Our Lady is enthroned with its flowing water. Also, I entered the Cave of the Holy Sepulcher where I feel the awesomeness of the place. And of course, the newly renovated Grotto of Our Lady of Lourdes where I prayed in silence my fervent wishes.

It was a wonderful experience being in that place that truly lighten my burden and be secured with the belief that God is present as a Loving Merciful Lord now and forever.

Princess in Disguise

I saw her wearing her cutest smile while talking to a friend. She is a simple lady with a humble heart. She brings inspiration to those who needed it. She lends a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear to someone she cares. She is a good provider to her family. She has a positive outlook in life. I have witnessed how she sacrificed her own happiness for the sake of her family. I have seen how she succeeded in some of her struggles in her life's journey. I have proven how she dearly love her family and give them the best that she can be. I have seen how proud she was when her dreams for her beloved family have been fulfilled and all the efforts she'd given to them have been rewarded. She tearfully thanked God for all the graces and answered prayers bestowed to her family.

But there's one thing they didn't know about her. When darkness comes and the sun is out, her smile turns into cry. She takes off her mask. She must face her real world. A life of being alone and no one to love.

Yesterday night, I saw her all alone in her silent shell. Her little comfort zone has been a quiet witness to her lonely and pain-filled days. Just an hour, a sudden burst of frustration, despondency and hopelessness envelops her whole being. She cried and cried. She was attacked by a depression. She felt emptiness and a loss of love. She has a feeling of being drowned in the ocean of fear and failure. She couldn't fathom the realities and uncertainties of life. She is afraid to be left alone and lonely. She is afraid things will not be okay.

Sometimes, a teaspoon of regret makes her heart shattered into pieces. If only she had fight for the love she once had, maybe she won the battle of love. If only she had not let go of him, maybe she now happy with a man she truly loved. If only she said yes to his man's marriage proposal, maybe she is now happy and contented wife. If only she had think and decide only for herself, maybe she now living with a family of her own. But it's too late. She can never turn back the pages of time.

I sigh, realizing that 
          I've lost my sanity amidst 
                   the dark and stormy night.
                                                          :-(

Dear Mr. A: An Old Flame

More than three years have passed since we parted ways and never been reconnected. Until one day, I received a missed call and found out it was you. Then, we were re-communicated once more.

It seems you're talking to me just like nothing happened in the past. You're still the same person that I once knew. You always pestering me with your sarcastic remarks. Enough for me to feel quite mad at you the way you are. But I guess there is no more question about it. It's you.. the real you.

Now, you want me back. Is it that easy? Maybe, for you. The first time I heard it from you, I don't know what my reaction is. Am I happy? I remain still. But the feeling I think isn't there anymore. You said you will gonna prove that you have unfeigned love. Do I have to believe? For all the pain you caused me, do you still worthy of my full trust? Do I have to give you a second chance?

I'm sorry. That's all I can say at this very moment. After weighing things out, I've realized some things never last. The feelings I have for you before exists no more. I try to feel within my heart if you're still resides in there but my heart says you're out of her life now. I am really sorry but I don't love you anymore.  

I have overcome the struggle and burden you have caused me. The past hurt and mistake made me a stronger person. It taught me how to accept my loss and brave enough to go through life without you. Thank you for the chance, I was given an ample time in expressing what my heart and mind wanted to say. You need to move on now. You have to let go. Let's just be fair. Let's just be friends! That's the only thing I could offer you right now. It will never change. And will never be.

5-Year Milestone Anniversary

Today is July 05, 2011. I'm celebrating my five (5) year service anniversary here in the company. I utter words of praise and thanksgiving for the privileges and opportunities God put into my hands. I'd realized how my life has been changed since the first time I entered this workplace.

It wasn't my first job. I could say that I have skills and knowledge to do the job. It doesn't mean that there is no things to be improved on my craft. I'm open to new ways of  improving myself and developing self-confidence. Learning is an endless thing as long as you're eager to do so. It would enhance our skills and abilities to be in a right track of our profession. And of course, for our own personal growth and development. Sometimes we learn through the smooth way. Sometimes, at the opposite side. But whatever it may be, we should open our eyes to the good lessons it may bring to our life. Failures and mistakes are ingredients to success. We can't fully appreciate the crown and taste the sweetness of success if we haven't experienced trials and have been bruised and wounded by the battles of life. We should always remember that God is always there guiding us and loving us for what we truly are in spite of our imperfection.

I love doing my job. It's my bread and butter. It gives me sense of gratification and satisfaction. And in today's unstable economy wherein a lot of people having a hard time in getting a job, I am really blessed. Even though the routine of my job often is monotonous. Thank you, Lord for the opportunity to work and through this grace I would become a better person you want me to be.

Just an Update

It's been awhile since the last time I have posted something here on my blog. It's been so pretty busy here in the workplace. A lot of paperwork occupied my job tray. I have to prioritize things so I may be able to finish the tasks and all. Blogging is one way of unloading my thoughts, emotions and anything that slipped in my mind once in a while. And because I can't entertain and face my computer for the whole day only to have my blogging session, I bought a  notepad as my personal diary to put my thoughts and musings into words when I'm in the mood.

Nothing so much new happened for the past two months I've been silent. I'm just busy with doing paperwork such as payroll and submission of reports for the last fiscal year. I never had my beach or pool swimming last summer. It was my choice. I have received some invitations to go swimming with friends and colleagues but I said no. I'm just not in the mood of going outdoors because of the terrible heat during summer season. The kind of heat of the season is not that normal. It is caused by global warming. So sad of what's happening to our Mother Earth.


Good News. My brother graduated last April 29. It was also my mother's birthday. I sent birthday greetings to my mother who stays in the province. My father and I attended the graduation. After the program, we eat at Kenny Rogers - SM North Edsa to celebrate. Congratulations, Bobet! You did it! Last June 06, it was Monday. My sister Arlene gave birth to a healthy baby boy via normal delivery. My first nephew. The first grandchild of the family. We were so thankful and praise God for the gift of life. Ardie is his first name. The bundle of joy of the family. 

After the Storm

Many years ago, I was disgusted and feeling distress when my sister disclosed to me that she was raped with someone else when she was just a child. I don't know what is the exact age of her when it was happened. The guilty person who did the crime was my grandparents' helper in their farm. We don't have any idea where he is now because I don't have a bit of information of his whereabouts even before. I was the only one who knew what had happened to my sister. I can see from her eyes the pain and sadness that she had. The sad thing part of it was it took so many years before she courageously confided it with me. But still, I'm very thankful and relieved because she trusted me. At least, I now fully understand her talks and actions when we were still young and growing up. 

I know how it's been so hard for her to cope with the situation. Depression is the worst feeling in this world that overshadowed her that's why she once tried to commit suicide by taking sleeping pills. I have witnessed how she'd done it and I burst into tears because I felt the excruciating pain, hopelessness, self-pitiness and downfall she'd feeling. Unintentionally, I found a handwritten letter she kept in her personal thing. It was a letter narrating what she'd been through. A letter where she put all her emotions about failures, anguish, fears and envy about something in her life.


I still vividly remember when I'd advised her many years ago to tell everything about it to a man she chooses to be with forever before they will decide to get married. And I know she keep it that words in her heart and mind. I was pleased and grateful when after many years of coping with the situation she'd finally found the man who accepted her for who and what she is. Now, my sister is happily married. The wedding took place at the province last year. And at this moment we are thankfully and gladly waiting for the very first grandchild in our family. Yes, she's pregnant now.  She'll be giving birth on her first bundle of joy this coming June. God is really good. And I thank God for all the love and graces He poured.

Happy Birthday Sir & Joi

Today is the birthday of my immediate boss and co-officemate here in our department. Certainly, it would be a busy day for us here. Our boss will be having a birthday celebration this lunchtime at the conference room. Our boss ordered many foods to be served for employees who will attend the celebration. We will be preparing all the things needed for the birthday celebration. 

To my boss: A very Happy Birthday to a great mentor and a wonderful person. Wishing you success and happiness always!

To Joi: Sending birthday blessings, filled with love and peace and joy. Wishing sweetest things happen, right before your eyes today that is your birthday! Happy Birthday!!!